After recently declaring to the world that the North Pole is now a part of their territory, Canada announced Friday morning that Nicholas Claus, known around the world simply as “Santa,” may not return to his homeland until he files the necessary paperwork to become … Full story
During an interview on Russian television on Thursday, Vladimir Putin announced that his country would launch nuclear attacks against foreign countries if athletes representing said countries at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi violated Russia’s anti-gay propaganda laws. Putin’s shocking, threatening statements came after Russia recently announced … Full story
Former Pennsylvania Senator and 2012 GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum announced on Thursday that he no longer identifies himself as Roman Catholic, and “officially” became a practicing Muslim on Monday, December 9th. Santorum, who has often been an outspoken Christian, says the primary reason he … Full story
According to prosecutors, domestic charges against George Zimmerman have been dropped. But authorities are now saying that in the past few hours, the famed Florida neighborhood watchman has committed several acts of violent assault and has threatened dozens of people, and has even robbed a bank, but … Full story
Santa Claus has been making his list and checking it twice… but the NSA has a list, too, and Jolly St. Nick is definitely on it. According to famed spy agency whistleblower Edward Snowden, the NSA has been monitoring phone calls, emails, radio transmissions, and … Full story
Former Secretary of State Colin Powell has finally “crossed the aisle” and switched teams, abandoning the Republican party to officially become a registered, card-carrying member of the Democratic party. The unsurprising move comes after years of speculation as to which party he personally identified with. … Full story
The internet is overflowing with Obama-based commentary today, after President Barack Obama shook hands with Cuban President Raul Castro, at the memorial service for Nelson Mandela on Tuesday. But while the handshake itself was controversial, the end-result will surely be even more of a major … Full story
This week, numerous news outlets have reported that as a part of their widespread domestic and foreign spying efforts, the NSA and other agencies have been monitoring communications, players, and player-made organizations/ communities (known as “clans” or “guilds”) in numerous online video games, in the … Full story
On Monday, Time Magazine announced that Miley Cyrus, Ted Cruz, and Kathleen Sebelius are top contenders for their “Person of the Year” title, which names the most influential person of the year. But just when you thought their choices couldn’t get any more controversial, Time … Full story
Former half-term Alaska Governor Sarah Palin doesn’t have the best luck when it comes to reality television. The 2008 vice presidential candidate and current paid Fox News contributor has had yet another reality television show canceled due to poor ratings… and this time, the network hadn’t even … Full story
Monday morning, President Barack Obama graced PTP with an exclusive, one-on-one interview, after our organization won a drawing – literally out of White House Press Secretary Jay Carney’s hat — between several major and minor news agencies. But while President Obama seemed keen on talking about … Full story
In an FBI sting assisted by local and State police departments in both Wisconsin and California, nine members of Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker’s reelection campaign staff were arrested Sunday morning, as well as fourteen other individuals, after the feds were tipped off that the Walker … Full story
Santa Claus, the beloved Christmas figure who delivers presents all over the globe, is in critical condition this afternoon after a test flight of an experimental new sleigh ended with the vehicle being shot down by the United States Air Force. Santa was able to … Full story
The White House announced this morning that after days of complaint and controversy, First Lady Michelle Obama has removed a tiny ornament from the White House Christmas tree depicting Santa Claus as a black man, replacing it with a small candy cane instead. The ornament, which … Full story
On Saturday, 85-year old US veteran of the Korean War Merrill Newman was allegedly freed by North Korea, after he was recently captured while attempting to visit the country. North Korea claims they released Newman from custody after he apologized for his so-called crimes, also … Full story
President Barack Obama’s uncle, Onyango “Omar” Obama, is now temporarily living at the White House, according to White House Press Secretary Jay Carney, who confirmed the story for the press early Saturday. Carney says Omar Obama arrived at the White House Friday afternoon with three … Full story
On Friday, President Barack Obama ordered the Joint Chiefs of Staff to stage what the White House is calling “an emergency military intervention” into the African nation of Ghana, claiming the United States has “significant and undeniable evidence” that Ghana President John Dramani Mahama has ordered … Full story
Deer-hunting season is officially open, and thrilled hunters everywhere are packing heat. But things are not all warm and fuzzy for the residents of the North Pole. In the excitement of the season, seasoned hunter Ronald Joseph has accidentally shot and wounded Rudolph, the Red … Full story
A flash poll conducted Thursday evening by PTP, Politico, and the AP shows that the Affordable Care Act, aka “Obamacare,” has had an astonishing 28% bump in support in the past eight hours, following news that embattled crack-smoking Toronto Mayor Rob Ford came out against Obamacare … Full story
On Thursday, House Speaker John Boehner urged the Republican Party to be more accepting of gays and women, and insisted that the GOP should support candidates that are gay or female better, saying that “some of our members just aren’t as sensitive as they ought to … Full story
On Tuesday, The Raw Story revealed that Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker’s reelection campaign team sent out an email to supporters urging them to forego buying Christmas gifts for their families, and to donate money to their cause instead. And just when you thought Walker’s fundraising efforts … Full story
Non-white people all over the United States breathed a sigh of relief this week after reading about the end of the scourge of racism. The news was delivered via a tweet from the Republican National Committee (RNC) thanking Rosa Parks for her work in “ending racism.” … Full story
Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) took to the floor to mount his second old-school filibuster of his first term. Paul had just seen this week’s 60 Minutes and was disturbed by what he saw. No, not the shoddy journalism that the once-revered show has come to be … Full story
Dozens of Washington DC residents and nine DC Metro police officers were injured Tuesday evening, and more than $9 million worth of damage was caused, after the Capitol tree lighting ceremony in the nation’s capital became the scene of a large riot shortly after 5 pm. … Full story
House Speaker John Boehner has been especially weepy these past few days. On Sunday, Boehner cried during a 60 Minutes segment in which he was asked if he ever takes working on Capitol Hill for granted; for some strange reason, that made his eyes water … Full story
Amazon.com CEO Jeff Bezos revealed on 60 Minutes Sunday that his company is looking at using unmanned aerial vehicles, otherwise known as UAV’s or “drones,” to deliver packages to online shoppers, through a service they’re calling “Amazon Prime Air.” Bezos said he hopes to see … Full story
Vice President Joe Biden may soon be resigning from his post amidst a huge scandal that erupted Monday morning, wherein Biden accidentally showed two full minutes of rather strange pornography to three minors during a press meet in which he was trying to showcase how easy … Full story
The country was devastated to learn that Fast and Furious star Paul Walker was killed over the weekend in an ironic car accident. The actor was a passenger in a non-famous friend’s Porsche that crashed following a charity event in Los Angeles. Fans from across the globe gathered … Full story
On Sunday, the White House revealed that the Obamacare website, healthcare.gov, now works as intended for a “majority of Americans,” and is now capable of handling as many as 800,000 customers per day. But some conservatives took the opportunity to log onto the site today … Full story
President Barack Obama held a brief press conference on Sunday, saying that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has been sending the White House Hanukkah gifts each day, to show that Israel isn’t holding a grudge over the United States’ recent deal with Iran. But while … Full story
This year, Hanukkah is upon us during the festive time of Thanksgiving, dubbing the holiday “Thanksgivukkah.” This is an event that won’t be seen for another 70,000 years. But this merger of the holidays has a few people in an uproar. “I think it’s irresponsible … Full story
Recently, Arsalan Iftikhar found a defaced Gap poster featuring Sikh actor & model, Waris Ahulwalia, as part of Gap’s “Make Love” campaign. The anonymous bigot replaced the word “Love” with “Bomb” and added “Stop Driving Taxis.” This has the Sikh, Indian, Muslim, and various other … Full story
The Supreme Court announced this week that it will hear arguments in the “Hobby Lobby v. its Female Employees” case this week. The lawsuit challenges the law’s requirement that businesses offer contraception to its female employees. Hobby Lobby’s owner, David Green, has said the lawsuit was … Full story
The White House was quite the festive place last night, as President Obama broke out the bubbly when Anne Kaepernick, from Franklin Square, Long Island, was the 10th person to successfully complete an application for health insurance on healthcare.gov. Word reached the Oval Office at … Full story
Emails obtained by Pardon the Pundit show that not only did the Obama Administration know about the problems with the HealthCare.gov website in advance, but it actively sought an agreement with Iran to cover it up. Six months ago, after President Obama was briefed on potential problems … Full story
Former President John F. Kennedy’s spirit was contacted over the weekend via séance, and he was pretty upset about all the recent coverage of his death. It seems heaven just upgraded its DirecTV package, and they now get all the news channels, which had been previously reserved … Full story
The world gasped when President Barack Obama pardoned a highly controversial turkey on Wednesday, but Friday morning, it was revealed that said turkey was actually involved in a top-secret government operation that has resulted in the capture of nearly a dozen senior-level Al Qaeda operatives, … Full story
President Obama cannot catch a break. Last month it was his signature piece of legislation. This month, it’s winter storm Boreas. The storm, which wrecked havoc throughout the west, hit the East Coast and South just in time to disrupt travel plans for millions of people. Chairman … Full story
For most of us, Thanksgiving dinner is already working its way through our digestive tracts, and soon, it’ll be time to button our pants back up, strap on a football helmet, get that old hockey stick out of the garage, and head out to malls and … Full story
According to a special report aired on Fox News Wednesday evening, turkey won’t be the main course for the First Family on Thanksgiving… that honor belongs to ham. The First Family has allegedly asked White House Executive Chef Cristeta Comerford to prepare two “Thanksgiving hams” … Full story