A war is brewing over Super Bowl XLVII, and no, we aren’t talking about the one between the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos. This war, which might soon turn into a lengthy series of dramatic legal battles, is being waged over whether or not marijuana is a performance enhancing drug, and whether either or both of the teams used it to give them a competitive edge over other NFL teams.
At the heart of this trying debate is the fact that Washington State and Colorado, the home States of the two teams competing in the 2014 Super Bowl, both legalized the use of recreational marijuana after high-profile ballot initiatives in 2012. Some sports fans and pundits believe members of both teams may have used marijuana to gain an advantage over other teams in the NFL, while others argue that no one from either team has tested positive for marijuana use.
“I don’t think it’s fair that the Seahawks and Broncos can use these drugs that make them faster, stronger, smarter athletes, and get away with it,” said one angry radio host in Jacksonville, South Carolina. “Our local team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, had no hope of getting into the Super Bowl, not when these other teams are using marijuana to improve their skills out on the field. If it weren’t for marijuana, the Jaguars would’ve gone all the way this year. It’s just not fair. Not fair at all.”
But some argue that marijuana may not be a performance enhancing drug at all. In a recent scientific study of college football players that tested positive for marijuana use, most of whom were from Arizona State, researchers found that marijuana was actually prohibitive to playing sports, offering no noticeable performance advantage.
“Our study showed that while running laps, athletes high on marijuana would start debating romantic comedy films from the 1980′s and positing philosophical questions about whether the film `The Breakfast Club’ was actually an allegorical view of America’s relationship with corporations and/ or Israel,” stated one researcher. “They would then fall over giggling and ask if we had any cookies.”
The NFL has not yet commented on whether they’ll answer a wave of demands for additional drug testing prior to the 2014 Super Bowl, which is scheduled for Sunday, February 2nd. The league did claim in a press release on Monday morning that they’ve sent officials to both States to “conduct research on marijuana use,” but that those officials haven’t been heard from since.