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Chris Christie gives wedgie to Democrat during inaugural speech

Chris ChristieNew Jersey Governor Chris Christie has been swarmed with controversies lately, and on Tuesday, in the middle of his inauguration speech, he only compounded those issues, after pausing to give a New Jersey mayor — a Democrat — a wedgie, on stage, in front of a very large crowd.

In a well-crafted speech calling for greater bipartisanship, Christie nonchalantly took the microphone off the podium, walked over to Edison NJ Mayor Thomas Lankey, and gestured for him to stand up, all while continuing to deliver his speech.  Lankey, looking especially confused, followed suit… and regretted it a few seconds later, after Christie yanked his underwear up to deliver a painful-looking atomic wedgie.  Christie then casually walked back to the podium and continued his speech as if nothing had happened.

Christie’s office has not yet issued an official statement regarding why Christie perpetrated the brutal prank on Lankey, with a spokesperson for his office refusing to comment when asked by reporters shortly after the swearing-in ceremony.  But one staffer did comment, on the condition of anonymity.  “Come on, this is New Jersey.  Wedgies are practically a show of affection here.  I don’t think you should read too much into this.”

But a staffer in Lankey’s Edison office says the wedgie was retribution for the mayor not “liking” one of Christie’s Facebook posts from several months ago.  “Back in November, [Christie] shared a photo of a cat walking on a computer keyboard, and the caption read `I can haz Obamacare webmaster job?’  It was pretty funny, but Lankey didn’t put a like on it, and they haven’t really spoken at all since then, so this was the Governor’s payback.”

To only further complicate their already strained relationship, Mayor Lankey posted a funny Facebook image of his own last week, showing Governor Christie’s face photoshopped onto the body of a troll, hiding out beneath the George Washington bridge, with the caption `you have to pay the troll toll, to get into New York’s hole,’ a reference to the cult hit TV show It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  A spokesman for Christie said later that day that Lankey’s post was “offensive, vile, and definitely wedgie-worthy.”

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