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Mike Enzi’s democratic challenger is… Mike Enzi?

Senator Mike EnziIt was recently revealed that Senator Mike Enzi (R-WY) has approximately $1.8 million sitting in his campaign war chest, after primary challenger Liz Cheney bowed out of the race earlier this month.  Many are now wondering when a Democrat will step up to take on Enzi in this year’s midterm election, but this weekend, that question got an answer: Mike Enzi.

According to members of Enzi’s campaign staff and senatorial office staff, the incumbent Senator will file paperwork on Monday morning to officially join the Democratic party, after which he plans to challenge any Democrats that step up to the plate in a primary fight.

“Senator Enzi’s plan is to become a democrat, in name only, and bring the fight to his rivals before they even make it out of their primary,” said one member of Enzi’s staff, who says he has taken part in several staff meetings to discuss the new campaign strategy.  “These democrats, whoever they end up being, will have to burn through their campaign funds just to get through the primary, where they’ll challenge Enzi again after he switches back to the GOP.”

“It’s a war of financial attrition, and he’s going to win it,” offered another staffer.  “Once [Cheney] dropped out of the race, [Enzi] flipped a proverbial switch, and now this campaign is rooted in siege warfare.  `Pillage the fields, burn the crops, and starve them out of the race.’  That’s the phrase he keeps using to describe the tactic.  He even wears a horned Mongol war helmet around the office now to remind everyone of the plan.”

Enzi’s strategy would be illegal in most states, but not in Wyoming… thanks, ironically, to former Vice President Dick Cheney, the father of the aforementioned Liz.  Dick Cheney had the law changed in 2007, believing he might run for Senate after George W. Bush’s second term ended.  Those plans were dashed after his scandal involving human sacrifice, but the laws remain on the books.

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