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Republicans stand behind Christie, downplay Bridgegate, other scandals

Chris ChristieA new poll released over the weekend shows that Republicans overwhelmingly support New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, despite the wave of scandals his office presently faces, and that many would back him in a presidential race in 2016, should he decide to run.  Most respondents went on to explain why they believe Christie’s scandals “aren’t that bad.”

“This `Bridgegate’ thing just proves how petty liberals are,” said one of the poll’s respondents.  “I mean, a bridge was closed.  What’s the big deal?  It’s not like anyone died.  Well, that one lady died… but let’s be honest, she was a female in the Northeast, so chances are she was an Obama lover.  I really don’t understand what the problem is here.”

“It’s obvious this whole `Bridgegate’ story is just a deflection from the real news story… Benghazi,” claimed another respondent.  “Let me get this straight: Christie closes a bridge, inconveniencing some liberals, and it’s the worst scandal of the century.  But Obama pays some Muslim militants, out of his own pocket, and personally orders them to go assassinate a US ambassador, and then lies about it, and we’re supposed to roll over and support Obamacare?  What a crock!”

One respondent was so angered over the media’s reaction to the scandals that he wasn’t able to put together whole sentences, and simply typed out a garbled mess of letters and numbers.  The few words that did emerge were “Obama,” “shit-show,” “fat joke” and “socialism.”

But a small minority did admit that Christie’s scandals are serious.  As one respondent put it, “[Christie] may have used money meant for Hurricane Sandy for political campaigning?  That’s pretty bad.  Not as bad as Michelle Obama demanding Americans eat healthy food and lose weight, or the liberal war on soda… food Nazis… but, you know, mildly bad.”

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