Former half-term Alaska Governor Sarah Palin celebrated the “birthday” of the Bill of Rights with a special article she wrote Sunday, meant to inform her readers about the first ten amendments. But experts that have read her list of amendments say they aren’t even remotely close to being accurate interpretations of what they were intended to mean. Here’s the full article she wrote. Can you spot the problems in her version of the Bill of Rights?
Hey there, Real America!
Today (Dec 15) marks the 7,500th anniversary of the Bill of Rights getting added to the Constitution and the Bible, and to celebrate the occasion, I decided to write you this short guide to those first ten amendments that the Founding Fathers, who were real mavericky momma grizzlies, gave to all of America, other than the dumb-o-crats or the lamestream media of course, because the Founding Fathers hated their socialist, God-hating ways, don’t-cha-know. So anyway, here’s my guide to those first ten amendments, you betcha!
1st Amendment: Makes America a Christian nation, and gives Fox News the right to say whatever they want, whenever they want
2nd Amendment: Every American can own as many guns as they want, and the government can’t tell us what guns we can have. Every American should own at least five guns
3rd Amendment: Same as the second amendment, but with more guns
4th Amendment: The government can’t take your bibles away from you
5th Amendment: Allows you to say “I plead the fifth” in a court room, like you see in those movies
6th Amendment: The President needs to be born in America and show every American his birth certificate, social security card, travel records, school records, medical and dental records, library card with history, credit card and/ or bank statement, first twelve love letters, documentation proving they’re a Christian, and a copy of at least one utility bill
7th Amendment: Makes the number seven a lucky number. Did you ever wonder where that comes from? If you did, it means you should’ve read the Constitution, you betcha!
8th Amendment: Vice Presidents are more important than Presidents
9th Amendment: Made Alaska the 53rd State
10th Amendment: Said that Barack Obama couldn’t be president. That’s why people have been saying for years that his presidency is unconstitutional!