Recently, a group of Satanists have proposed to erect a statue of a Goat-Headed Satan with 2 kids listening to his words at the Capitol in Oklahoma. Despite all the nay-sayers, this campaign has about half of the funds it needs to be built and put up. But there is one nay-sayer that is coming out of left field for this statue.
“I can’t believe that’s what they think I look like,” says an angered Satan, “Goat horns and hooves! Come on! I’m not saying I’m Brad Pitt or anything, but cut me some slack. I’m still decent looking! I mean hell, I’ve been married for the last 10 years to a pretty fine lookin’ lady. You can at least make me look like a pan and not some bull crap Greek mythology reject!”
Satan, a dark-haired, taller man with wings and a slim build, was also upset at the level of respect of his religion over his counterpart’s. His complaint was directed towards the ACLU and Rep. Mike Ritze (R-OK), who say that Satanism can’t be treated like a religion like Christianity or Catholism.
“Well that’s just crazy! It’s not like Satanists and Christians are that different! We have just as many factions as the Christians, and we have just as many sex scandals as they do. Most people join our religions to rebel against something. I mean it’s a lot cooler when you’re listening to Heavy Metal than Gospel, but the concept is still the same!”
The message from this particular faction of Satanism is to love all of the creatures on this earth and treat them with respect! If that is the message, to that we hope Oklahoma says “Hail to that Satan.”